According to my journal, it all started June 22, 2001. I was fresh out of college and starting a new career. Business was slow so I was journaling about how much this fellow had control over my thoughts. I found myself doubling his name. While my boss was giving me the rundown of my duties for the day and I couldn't help but anticipate my date with Tim.
As the nurse wheeled her next to me and helped me raise my bed, she asked if I wanted to hold her. Before she could complete that sentence I had my arms stretched out for my baby. I pulled her next to me and gave her a gentle hug and kissed her head covered by a pink cap. I laid her on the bed and unwrapped her blanket so I could pull her cap off. I said to her, “You have all your toes, and fingers and a head full of curly hair.”
When I was a teenager, I felt that I would end up meeting this godly, virtuous, beautiful, intelligent, poetic, classy, and funny girl. She would be strong with a little attitude, have an affinity for hip-hop and R&B, and most of all, love God. I was young but my thoughts were old. I wasn't rushing the day to come but I felt in my soul that it eventually would. One day it actually did and I knew it that very same day.
We never truly are in control of our own lives. We need money, which means we have to work, which means we spend our whole lives working to see most of it thrown away to living. When you think of it like that, it is a pretty daunting thought. But, there are ways you can take control of certain aspects of your own life. All you have to do is have the willpower to do so. Because even though there are certain aspects, such as work, that we can’t control, the ones we can control we often can’t be bothered to do so.
We laughed and joked and talked and what seemed like 20 minutes was actually 3 hours. The night was approaching fast. My mother sent my sister out to tell me about dinner and we started saying our goodbyes. Once again, we got caught up in another 20-minute conversation that lasted another 3 hours. The porch light had come on and I recall telling him, “I enjoyed our conversation, but I really have to go. I start my new job tomorrow and I need to rest.” He asked for my number and I told him, “If I see you again, I will bless you with my number.”