It's been 16 years, 7 months, and 15 days since I declared my love for Tim and promised to love him for the rest of my life. The vows I spoke were engraved in my heart and through the good times and bad, the love has not wavered even when I wanted it to. I've come to accept that God made no mistakes when he placed him in my life and I am grateful for all of the experiences. Therefore, after great consideration and daily prayer, I shall renew and rejuvenate my life with Tim on Sunday January 20, 2019 with a ceremonial wedding.
As I sang, tears fell from my eyes because Tim was not there with me. My brother had gone and Zoey looked so much like him and he was also my sunshine. Then the phone rang to my room and it was Tim. His first words to me were, “I love you.” My voice cracked as I uttered, “Then why aren’t you here?” Although I knew the answer, my heart was broken. I couldn’t believe I said those words because my heart screamed, I miss you and I love you too. But my mouth betrayed me and expressed words that I didn’t mean to say.
When I was a teenager, I felt that I would end up meeting this godly, virtuous, beautiful, intelligent, poetic, classy, and funny girl. She would be strong with a little attitude, have an affinity for hip-hop and R&B, and most of all, love God. I was young but my thoughts were old. I wasn't rushing the day to come but I felt in my soul that it eventually would. One day it actually did and I knew it that very same day.
We never truly are in control of our own lives. We need money, which means we have to work, which means we spend our whole lives working to see most of it thrown away to living. When you think of it like that, it is a pretty daunting thought. But, there are ways you can take control of certain aspects of your own life. All you have to do is have the willpower to do so. Because even though there are certain aspects, such as work, that we can’t control, the ones we can control we often can’t be bothered to do so.
This was I really really really tried my hardest to listen to Tonja, but she gets on my nerves. She always takes my doll without asking and she doesn't let me play with her dolls. She even told my mom that I took a candy cane off the tree even though she did to. I will try harder next year. School is fun my new teacher Mrs. Matthews allows me to help in class, I love to be a helper. I also won first place in the science fair for my volcano. I hope you like the cookies we made, I made the one with the red and white snowflakes.
P.S. Santa: I know I haven't asked you for anything in years, but this year I would love a Subaru Forester. I so love this vehicle and it is perfect for my family. I promise to drive with care.
We laughed and joked and talked and what seemed like 20 minutes was actually 3 hours. The night was approaching fast. My mother sent my sister out to tell me about dinner and we started saying our goodbyes. Once again, we got caught up in another 20-minute conversation that lasted another 3 hours. The porch light had come on and I recall telling him, “I enjoyed our conversation, but I really have to go. I start my new job tomorrow and I need to rest.” He asked for my number and I told him, “If I see you again, I will bless you with my number.”