Dating a Narcissist? 10 Warning Signs You Shouldn’t Ignore

signs you're dating a narcissist

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Hey friends, it’s Lavanda Michelle.

Let’s get real for a minute. Love can feel amazing—but sometimes, we fall for someone who’s not showing up in the relationship with kindness, respect, or empathy. If you’re constantly feeling drained, confused, or like the relationship is all about them, you might be dating a narcissist.

Now, I’m not here to diagnose anyone—that’s for professionals. But I am here to shine a light on behaviors that can be seriously harmful, especially when they make you question your worth or lose your voice. Here are 10 warning signs that your partner may have narcissistic traits—and what that could mean for you.


1. It’s Always About Them

No matter the conversation, it somehow circles back to them—their problems, their success, their feelings. Your wins are ignored or quickly overshadowed.

Example:
You say, “I got a promotion today!”
They reply, “That’s nice, but my boss still hasn’t recognized my efforts. I’m doing way more than anyone else.”


2. They Never Take Accountability

They’re never wrong—and if something goes wrong, it’s always your fault. Even when they clearly mess up, they spin it to make you feel guilty.

Example:
They forget your birthday, then say, “You didn’t remind me. You know how busy I am. Why didn’t you make a bigger deal about it?”


3. They Charm Everyone But You

In public, they’re sweet, funny, and engaging. But behind closed doors, they’re cold, dismissive, or even cruel.

Example:
Your friends think you’re lucky to have them, but you cry more in this relationship than you ever have before—and no one sees that side of them.


4. They Put You Down Subtly (or Not-So-Subtly)

They joke about your weight, your goals, your friends—or anything that makes you feel small. It’s often framed as “just teasing” or “honest feedback.”

Example:
You wear something new and they say, “You’re really wearing that?” Then they follow it up with, “Relax, I’m just joking. Don’t be so sensitive.”


5. They Love Bombed You—Then Pulled Back

In the beginning, it was fireworks—gifts, texts, compliments, attention. But once you got attached, it all faded. Now you’re chasing the high of those first few weeks.

Example:
They used to send good morning texts, plan date nights, and call you beautiful. Now they barely respond unless they want something.


6. They Get Jealous or Controlling

They don’t trust you around other people. They may check your phone, question your whereabouts, or get upset when you make plans without them.

Example:
You mention grabbing coffee with a coworker, and suddenly it’s a full-blown argument about your loyalty.


7. They Show No Empathy

When you’re hurt, sick, or upset, they act annoyed or roll their eyes. Instead of comforting you, they make you feel like a burden.

Example:
You cry during a serious conversation and they say, “Here we go again with the drama.”


8. They Gaslight You

They make you question your memory, emotions, or even your sanity. You start apologizing for things that aren’t your fault and doubting your reality.

Example:
You say, “You said you’d call me after work.”
They reply, “No I didn’t. You’re imagining things again.”


9. You Feel Like You’re Walking on Eggshells

You filter your words, avoid topics, and constantly worry about triggering their anger or criticism. You feel tense around them—even when nothing’s wrong.

Example:
You rehearse your texts or conversations before you speak—just to avoid a fight.


10. You Don’t Feel Like Yourself Anymore

You’ve lost your confidence, joy, or peace. You used to shine—now you’re just trying to survive. You may even feel isolated from friends and family who once made you feel grounded.


Lavanda Michelle’s Truth:

If these signs feel familiar, I want you to hear me loud and clear:
You are not crazy. You are not overreacting. You are not too sensitive.

You are worthy of love, respect, and emotional safety. Period.

You don’t have to stay in a relationship that constantly drains you. You deserve someone who lifts you up—not tears you down. And healing is 100% possible. You are stronger than you know—and you’re not alone.

Dating a Narcissist? 10 Warning Signs You Shouldn’t Ignore

Until next time, shine amongst the stars!

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Think you might be dating a narcissist? 💔 Read my latest post on 10 clear warning signs—with real-life examples—to help you recognize toxic behavior and protect your peace. ➡️

📌 Disclaimer:
This post is for educational and informational purposes only and should not be considered professional or clinical advice. If you believe you’re in an emotionally or psychologically abusive relationship, please speak with a licensed therapist or contact a trusted resource or hotline. You deserve support, healing, and safety.

24 thoughts on “Dating a Narcissist? 10 Warning Signs You Shouldn’t Ignore

  1. I definitely have a few narcissists in my life and know 1000% that I could not date one. Such great dating tips here and appreciate the dating tips for anyone that may need them…. definitely a good idea to stay away from these kinds of people.

    1. Hi there! 💬 So true, once you know the signs, it’s so much easier to avoid those toxic patterns. I’m glad the tips resonated with you. Everyone deserves a healthy, respectful relationship. Thanks for reading and sharing! ❤️🚫

  2. I lived in this type of situation way too long. I refuse to do it again. I’m worried I’ll pick the wrong person again so I haven’t really dated much. I hear of too many crazy dating horror stories too.

    I caused my back/pain issues to further deteriorate instead of having the facts that I found out after we split. My back problems are due to a genetic defect. I never felt good enough. Money problems were my fault bc I didn’t work but I had my blog income but he sold my profitable one. I also explained that I could only keep up with the house/chores if I wasn’t working outside my blog. I’m currently working full time and I’m always so exhausted after that so my house isn’t spotless. I felt like I was walking on egg shells a lot. It always felt like it was his way or the highway. I refused to build his business so he decided he was done with me. But not before draining all our assets and taking away my income. Our money issues was actually him spending money on stuff we couldn’t afford.

    It took me a ton of counseling to overcome some of these issues. And like I said I’m not even sure I want to date or get into a relationship again due to my experience with a narcissist. I don’t mind being alone as long as I have my fur babies close.

    1. Hi Christy 💜 Thank you so much for your honesty. What you’ve been through is heartbreaking, and it takes real courage to share it. I’m so sorry for all the pain you endured, especially feeling unheard and unsupported. You didn’t deserve that. I’m proud of you for seeking healing and creating space to protect your peace. It’s okay to be cautious about dating again, your story matters, and so does your comfort. Sending you so much love, strength, and hugs to you and your fur babies 🐾💪🏽💫

  3. These are all awful things! All good points to keep in mind, because really any of these are just red flags in a relationship.

    1. Hi there! 🚩 Yes, so many red flags can be easy to ignore in the moment, but awareness is everything. I’m glad the post helped bring some clarity. Stay strong and trust your instincts! 💔💡

  4. This is such a powerful and important post, providing clear and direct insights into recognizing unhealthy relationship dynamics. Thank you for shedding light on these behaviors and reminding everyone that their feelings are valid and they deserve respect.

    1. Hi Leelo! I appreciate your kind words. Everyone deserves to feel heard and respected. Thank you for reading!

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