Hey friends, it’s Lavanda Michelle!
Let’s talk about something real—something that can mess with your mind, heart, and confidence: gaslighting. If you’ve ever felt like you were “too sensitive,” constantly second-guessing yourself, or apologizing when you didn’t even know why—this post is for you.
Gaslighting is a form of emotional manipulation where someone tries to make you doubt your perception of reality. It can happen in romantic relationships, friendships, family, or even at work. And the worst part? You often don’t realize it’s happening… until you’re emotionally drained and questioning your worth.
Let’s break it down—no drama, just real talk. In this post, I’m breaking down 10 clear signs of gaslighting—with real examples—so you can recognize it, name it, and reclaim your peace. Let’s get into it.
1. You Constantly Doubt Yourself
You used to trust your gut—but now, every decision feels shaky. You second-guess your memory, your feelings, and even your instincts. You may even wonder, “Am I being too sensitive? Did I make that up?” That’s not your fault—it’s a symptom of emotional manipulation.
Example:
You say, “I remember we agreed to meet at 2 PM,” and they respond, “No we didn’t—you just thought I said that.”
Over time, you start questioning your memory—even though you’re usually very reliable.
2. They Tell You You’re Overreacting
Gaslighters often dismiss your emotions by calling you dramatic, sensitive, or irrational. Anytime you express how you feel, you’re met with, “You’re too sensitive,” or “It’s not that serious.” This is a red flag. Your feelings are valid—and someone who respects you will make space for them.
Example:
You say, “That comment really hurt my feelings.”
They reply, “Wow, calm down. It was just a joke. You always take things too personally.”
You walk away questioning if your feelings were even valid. (Spoiler: they were.)
3. They Deny Things You Know Happened
You bring up something they said or did—and they deny it completely. You start thinking, “Wait… am I crazy?” That confusion is exactly what gaslighters want.
Example:
They yelled at you during a disagreement.
Later, they say, “I never raised my voice. You’re imagining things.”
Suddenly, you start to wonder if you misread the whole situation.
4. You Apologize All the Time
If you find yourself saying “I’m sorry” for things you didn’t even do wrong—or just to keep the peace—you may be trying to survive emotional manipulation.
Example:
They’re in a bad mood, and you instantly say, “Sorry! I didn’t mean to upset you,”—even though you haven’t done anything.
It becomes a reflex, just to keep the peace.
5. They Minimize Your Feelings
They brush off your pain or problems and make it seem like you’re overreacting. Gaslighters dismiss your emotions like they’re no big deal. You might hear things like “You’re being dramatic” or “You’re imagining things.” It’s a tactic to make you feel small and powerless.
Example:
You say, “It really bothered me when you ignored me at the party.”
They say, “You’re being ridiculous. That wasn’t a big deal.”
Suddenly, you’re questioning your emotional responses instead of addressing the issue.
6. They Flip the Script
Somehow, no matter what the situation is—they turn it around on you. You bring up something hurtful they did, and suddenly you’re the one to blame. That’s emotional manipulation at work. Whatever happens—somehow—it’s your fault. They twist the conversation to make you feel guilty or responsible.
Example:
You say, “I felt hurt when you didn’t show up.”
They say, “Maybe if you weren’t so needy, I wouldn’t need space all the time.”
Now you’re apologizing, even though they were the one who let you down.
7. They Say One Thing, Then Do Another
Gaslighters can be charming and kind one moment—and cold or cruel the next. This inconsistency keeps you on edge, wondering which version of them will show up. They make promises or statements—and later act like they never said them. The inconsistency is intentional.
Example:
They say, “Of course I’ll support your new job!”
But the next week, they get angry when you’re too busy for them, and say, “I never said I was okay with this.”
You’re left spinning, trying to keep up with their ever-changing expectations.
8. You Feel Isolated
They may try to separate you from friends and family—especially people who might “see through” them. They subtly (or not-so-subtly) pull you away from people who care about you, especially those who might call out their behavior. If you feel like you’re alone in your experience, it’s time to take a step back.
Example:
You say, “I’m thinking of visiting my best friend this weekend.”
They say, “Why? She’s not a good influence on you. I don’t like how you act around her.”
Soon you’re canceling plans and staying home to avoid arguments.
9. You Question Your Memory
Over time, gaslighting chips away at your memory. You start asking, “Did that really happen?” or “Maybe I misunderstood…” You begin to rely on them to tell you what’s “real.” That’s a huge red flag.
Example:
You’re certain they said something hurtful during an argument.
They reply, “That never happened. You’re misremembering again.”
Eventually, you stop trusting your own brain and rely on them to tell you what’s real.
10. You Don’t Feel Like Yourself Anymore
This is the biggest one. You feel like a watered-down version of the person you used to be. If you’ve lost your spark, confidence, or sense of identity—you may be dealing with a toxic, gaslighting dynamic.
Example:
You used to be bubbly and outspoken. Now, you walk on eggshells.
You used to love being creative. Now, you’re too emotionally drained.
That’s not you—it’s the environment you’re in.
What to Do If You Think You’re Being Gaslit
You’re not alone, and you’re not crazy. If you recognize yourself in these examples, here’s the good news: awareness is power. Here are a few steps you can take:
- Start a truth journal. Write down events as they happen. This builds confidence in your own memory.
- Talk to someone safe. Whether it’s a friend, counselor, or therapist, speak your truth out loud.
- Set boundaries. It’s okay to say, “I won’t allow you to dismiss my feelings anymore.”
- Reconnect with yourself. Do things that make you feel strong, grounded, and whole again.
- Educate yourself , The more you know, the stronger your voice becomes.
- Know this truth: Gaslighting is about them, not you. You are worthy of love, clarity, and peace.
Final Thoughts from Lavanda Michelle
You deserve to feel heard, safe, and respected in every relationship—period. Recognizing gaslighting is the first step in taking your power back. You are not “too sensitive.” You’re not imagining things. You’re waking up to your own strength—and I’m so proud of you for that. Always remember: you are enough, your feelings are real, and your voice matters.
Gaslighting is real, and if someone is making you doubt your truth, that’s not love. That’s manipulation.
But here’s the truth no one can take away:
✨ Your feelings are valid.
✨ Your memory matters.
✨ You are not crazy.
✨ You are waking up—and stepping into your power.
I see you. I’m proud of you. And I’m here cheering you on every step of the way.
Are You Being Gaslit? 10 Signs to Watch For and How to Trust Yourself Again
Until next time, shine amongst the stars!
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Feeling confused, drained, or constantly apologizing? 😔 You may be experiencing gaslighting. Read my post on 10 clear signs—with real examples—to trust yourself again. ➡️ #GaslightingAwareness #LavandaMichelle
🛑 Disclaimer
The information provided in this blog post is for educational and informational purposes only. It is not intended as a substitute for professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. If you believe you are experiencing emotional abuse or gaslighting, please consult a licensed mental health professional or seek support from trusted resources. Everyone deserves to feel safe, heard, and respected in their relationships.
If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please contact a local crisis center or emergency services.
Wow, this is true. Thanks for shining a light on t!
Thank you, Lavanda. As a mom, I’ve often felt like I was “overreacting” or doubting my own instincts. Your article reminded me I’m not crazy—I’m strong and deserve to trust myself.
Wow. This hit home. I’ve experienced so many of these signs in a past relationship. Thank you for naming what I couldn’t.
Thank you! I’ve been gaslit in friendships and didn’t know it until now. I’m going to print this and post it on my fridge.