Hey friends, it’s Lavanda Michelle.
Let’s get real for a minute. Love can feel amazing—but sometimes, we fall for someone who’s not showing up in the relationship with kindness, respect, or empathy. If you’re constantly feeling drained, confused, or like the relationship is all about them, you might be dating a narcissist.
Now, I’m not here to diagnose anyone—that’s for professionals. But I am here to shine a light on behaviors that can be seriously harmful, especially when they make you question your worth or lose your voice. Here are 10 warning signs that your partner may have narcissistic traits—and what that could mean for you.
1. It’s Always About Them
No matter the conversation, it somehow circles back to them—their problems, their success, their feelings. Your wins are ignored or quickly overshadowed.
Example:
You say, “I got a promotion today!”
They reply, “That’s nice, but my boss still hasn’t recognized my efforts. I’m doing way more than anyone else.”
2. They Never Take Accountability
They’re never wrong—and if something goes wrong, it’s always your fault. Even when they clearly mess up, they spin it to make you feel guilty.
Example:
They forget your birthday, then say, “You didn’t remind me. You know how busy I am. Why didn’t you make a bigger deal about it?”
3. They Charm Everyone But You
In public, they’re sweet, funny, and engaging. But behind closed doors, they’re cold, dismissive, or even cruel.
Example:
Your friends think you’re lucky to have them, but you cry more in this relationship than you ever have before—and no one sees that side of them.
4. They Put You Down Subtly (or Not-So-Subtly)
They joke about your weight, your goals, your friends—or anything that makes you feel small. It’s often framed as “just teasing” or “honest feedback.”
Example:
You wear something new and they say, “You’re really wearing that?” Then they follow it up with, “Relax, I’m just joking. Don’t be so sensitive.”
5. They Love Bombed You—Then Pulled Back
In the beginning, it was fireworks—gifts, texts, compliments, attention. But once you got attached, it all faded. Now you’re chasing the high of those first few weeks.
Example:
They used to send good morning texts, plan date nights, and call you beautiful. Now they barely respond unless they want something.
6. They Get Jealous or Controlling
They don’t trust you around other people. They may check your phone, question your whereabouts, or get upset when you make plans without them.
Example:
You mention grabbing coffee with a coworker, and suddenly it’s a full-blown argument about your loyalty.
7. They Show No Empathy
When you’re hurt, sick, or upset, they act annoyed or roll their eyes. Instead of comforting you, they make you feel like a burden.
Example:
You cry during a serious conversation and they say, “Here we go again with the drama.”
8. They Gaslight You
They make you question your memory, emotions, or even your sanity. You start apologizing for things that aren’t your fault and doubting your reality.
Example:
You say, “You said you’d call me after work.”
They reply, “No I didn’t. You’re imagining things again.”
9. You Feel Like You’re Walking on Eggshells
You filter your words, avoid topics, and constantly worry about triggering their anger or criticism. You feel tense around them—even when nothing’s wrong.
Example:
You rehearse your texts or conversations before you speak—just to avoid a fight.
10. You Don’t Feel Like Yourself Anymore
You’ve lost your confidence, joy, or peace. You used to shine—now you’re just trying to survive. You may even feel isolated from friends and family who once made you feel grounded.
Lavanda Michelle’s Truth:
If these signs feel familiar, I want you to hear me loud and clear:
You are not crazy. You are not overreacting. You are not too sensitive.
You are worthy of love, respect, and emotional safety. Period.
You don’t have to stay in a relationship that constantly drains you. You deserve someone who lifts you up—not tears you down. And healing is 100% possible. You are stronger than you know—and you’re not alone.
Dating a Narcissist? 10 Warning Signs You Shouldn’t Ignore
Until next time, shine amongst the stars!
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Think you might be dating a narcissist? 💔 Read my latest post on 10 clear warning signs—with real-life examples—to help you recognize toxic behavior and protect your peace. ➡️ #ToxicLove #LavandaMichelle
📌 Disclaimer:
This post is for educational and informational purposes only and should not be considered professional or clinical advice. If you believe you’re in an emotionally or psychologically abusive relationship, please speak with a licensed therapist or contact a trusted resource or hotline. You deserve support, healing, and safety.
It’s so easy to overlook the signs when you’re in the thick of it, but you laid them out in such a clear, compassionate way. I HAD a good friend who was exactly like this. Needless to say, I, along with other friends, cut them out for good.
Hi Jess! Thank you for sharing. It’s tough, but so strong of you to recognize the signs and take action. You deserve peace. 🌞
So many red flags that we have to watch out for. This would be helpful for my son to read.
Yikes, these are good to keep in mind. I need to send this to my daughter. I always worry she’ll date the wrong person.
I mentor young men in my community, and this is exactly the kind of resource I need. Too many confuse control with love. Your post breaks it down perfectly. Thank you for giving me a teaching tool.
I’ve learned boundaries in work, but I ignored them in love. Your post spoke to me deeply. I won’t make that mistake again. Thank you, sis.