When Holiday Dates Start Feeling… Dry
Listen, I’ve been on those dates before.
You know the ones I’m talking about. You’re sitting there with your cute outfit on, the holiday lights twinkling like they’re cheering you on, and still… nothing. No spark. No flow. No energy. Just two people trying to “make conversation,” and it feels more like an interview than a date.
And around the holidays, it gets worse because everyone’s tired, distracted, overbooked, or thinking about fifteen family gatherings all at once.
So those dry, awkward dates? They happen a lot.
But here’s the good news.
You’re not stuck with that type of energy.
You can actually shift it — quickly — with one simple question.
Not small talk.
Not “What do you do for work?”
Not “How’s your week been?” (we already know: long.)
This conversation starter melts the ice and brings out the real person sitting across from you. And honestly, that’s when the spark shows up.
The Magic Question That Changes Everything
Ready? Here it is:
“What’s one thing that made you feel good this year?”
Simple.
Unexpected.
A little vulnerable… but in a soft, human way.
Most people have never been asked this on a date, especially during the holiday season when everything feels rushed and surface-level.
This question makes someone pause.
Think.
Smile a little.
Remember something real.
It opens the door to honest conversation instead of running through the usual “Where’d you grow up?” checklist. And the best part? Their answer reveals so much about them without it feeling heavy.
You learn what lights them up, what matters to them, how they think, what they appreciate, and even how they process life.
That’s chemistry.
Not the butterflies, not the holiday magic, not the “he’s cute when he laughs” feeling — but the connection underneath it.
That’s why this question works.
Why This Conversation Starter Works So Well
Holiday dates usually fall into two categories:
- Awkward and shallow, like you both just got dropped into a Hallmark movie without a script.
- Unexpectedly intense, like someone starts trauma-dumping by the second appetizer.
This question sits perfectly in the middle.
It’s warm without being heavy.
Deep without being overwhelming.
Personal without crossing boundaries.
And it gives you something real to talk about, which naturally leads to better follow-up questions, like:
- “What made that so special for you?”
- “Did it change the way you look at things?”
- “Would you want more of that next year?”
- “What did it teach you about yourself?”
See? Now you’re not stuck in small talk.
You’re building energy.
Curiosity.
Chemistry.
And trust me, people remember the date that made them feel seen — not the one where they listed their favorite holiday movies.
How to Use This Question Without Making It Awkward
You don’t have to toss it out of nowhere like a pop quiz.
Ease into it. Let it feel natural.
Maybe you’re sipping cocoa or waiting for your food. Maybe you’ve walked past a pretty light display. Maybe you’re both talking about how fast the year went by.
Then, casually — like you just thought of it — say something like:
“I’ve been thinking a lot about this year. What’s one thing that made you feel good or proud or just… happy? I love hearing people’s answers.”
Soft.
Inviting.
Zero pressure.
Their answer might surprise you.
And your reaction might surprise them in the best way.
And Don’t Forget… Answer It Too
This is a two-way street.
When they share, offer your answer too. Even if it’s small. Even if it’s simple.
“I took more walks this year, and it made me feel calmer.”
“I reconnected with myself in a new way.”
“I tried something new, and I’m proud of that.”
Whatever your truth is, share it.
That’s what creates the spark.
Try It This Weekend
Seriously.
Don’t overthink it.
Just try it.
If you’ve got a date lined up, slip this question in and watch the whole energy change. And if you don’t have a date planned yet, save it — trust me, you’ll use it soon.
And when you do, come back and tell me how it went.
I love hearing your stories. They’re always so good.
What are your thoughts about the The One Conversation Starter That Turns Dry Holiday Dates Into Real Chemistry . Please share in the comments below. I really would love to know.
Until next time, shine amongst the stars!
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Holiday dates feeling dry? Use this simple conversation starter: “What’s one thing that made you feel good this year?” It melts the ice fast and sparks real chemistry. Try it this weekend and tell me how it goes! ✨💬💞 #LavandaMIchelle
