Hey Stars,
I want you to imagine something.
Imagine you have a secret. It’s not a “scary” secret, but it’s a heavy one. For seven years—that’s 2,555 days—I sat right here. I wrote the blog posts you read. I shared the recipes. I sent the emails. From your side of the screen, Lavanda Michelle was “fine.” I was still your Midwest girl, still glowing, still talking about the sparkles.
But there was a catch.
Every time I looked at that little red “Record” button on my camera? My heart would hit my ribs like a trapped bird. My breath would catch. I would look at the lens—that unblinking glass eye—and all I could see was what I was trying to hide.
I was a professional blogger who was terrified of being seen.
You see, a lot can happen in seven years. While I was typing away, my “Ferrari engine” was redlining. I was 249.6 pounds, struggling to catch my breath, and using my words to build a wall between me and the world. It’s one thing to tell a story with a keyboard; it’s an entirely different thing to stand in the light and let you see the struggle in my eyes.
I didn’t “disappear” from the internet… I disappeared from the frame.
I was hiding in plain sight. I was too smart to keep pretending, yet too scared to stop. I told myself I was “just a writer now,” but that was a lie I told to protect my ego. The truth? I was a Ferrari rusting in a dark garage because I didn’t want anyone to see the dents.
But then, something shifted in the silence of these North Carolina woods.
I realized that if I want to help you—my Stars—live your brightest lives, I can’t do it from the shadows. I can’t just give you the “fresh paint” version of my life anymore. You deserve the foundation. You deserve the raw, unpolished, “Chapter Two” truth.
So, I did the one thing that felt impossible. I reached out, I wiped the dust off the lens, and I pressed Record.
I’m finally stepping back into the light. I’m not just a voice in your inbox anymore. I’m right here.
The ghost is gone. Lavanda is back.
What are your thoughts about I Disappeared for 7 Years. Here is the Truth. Please share in the comments below. I really would love to know.
Until next time, shine amongst the stars!
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2,555 days of hiding behind a keyboard. ⌨️ For 7 years, I was a ghost on YouTube, even while blogging every day. The mystery is over. I finally pressed record. 🎥✨ #LavandaMichelle #YouTubeReturn #ChapterTwo #Stars✨ ❤️ #LavandaMIchelle
Sometimes the four walls of the house feel like that “dark garage” you mentioned. I’ve been hiding my own “dents” behind a happy social media feed for a long time. Seeing you press record gives me a little more courage to be real with my friends. You’ve got a long-time supporter in me.
Becca, I hear you. Those four walls can feel heavy, and hiding dents is so easy. I’m glad pressing record gave you a bit of courage—you’ve got my support right back.
This is the “behind the scenes” content the world actually needs. We talk so much about “the hustle” but never about the physical toll it takes. 249.6 is a brave number to share, and I respect the hell out of that. Looking forward to seeing how you scale this new chapter.
Sam, thank you. The hustle rarely shows the toll, and being honest about it feels heavy but necessary. Grateful you’re here as I step into this new chapter—it means a lot.
I’ve always loved your recipes, but knowing the heart behind the person writing them makes the food taste better. It’s hard to be creative when you’re “fighting to breathe” in your real life. I can’t wait to see how your cooking evolves in this new, honest chapter. Keep shining, Chef!
Elena, this made me smile. Thank you for seeing the heart behind the recipes. Fighting to breathe makes creativity messy, but I’m excited to share this new, honest chapter with you.
I know that “hiding behind the keyboard” feeling all too well. It’s easy to be a voice in an inbox, but it’s terrifying to be a face on a screen. I’m so proud of you for wiping the dust off that lens. You’ve inspired me to step out of the shadows today too.
Chloe… that means so much. Wiping the dust off the lens is scary, but hearing it inspires you to step out too makes it all worth it. You’ve got this.
I’ve been in your inbox for years, but seeing you press ‘Record’ feels like meeting a best friend for the first time. The Ferrari is out of the garage and looking better than ever.
Joy, this made me smile so big. I love that feeling—pressing record does feel like meeting old friends in a new way. Grateful you’ve been here all along!