Hey Stars,
I want you to imagine something.
Imagine you have a secret. It’s not a “scary” secret, but it’s a heavy one. For seven years—that’s 2,555 days—I sat right here. I wrote the blog posts you read. I shared the recipes. I sent the emails. From your side of the screen, Lavanda Michelle was “fine.” I was still your Midwest girl, still glowing, still talking about the sparkles.
But there was a catch.
Every time I looked at that little red “Record” button on my camera? My heart would hit my ribs like a trapped bird. My breath would catch. I would look at the lens—that unblinking glass eye—and all I could see was what I was trying to hide.
I was a professional blogger who was terrified of being seen.
You see, a lot can happen in seven years. While I was typing away, my “Ferrari engine” was redlining. I was 249.6 pounds, struggling to catch my breath, and using my words to build a wall between me and the world. It’s one thing to tell a story with a keyboard; it’s an entirely different thing to stand in the light and let you see the struggle in my eyes.
I didn’t “disappear” from the internet… I disappeared from the frame.
I was hiding in plain sight. I was too smart to keep pretending, yet too scared to stop. I told myself I was “just a writer now,” but that was a lie I told to protect my ego. The truth? I was a Ferrari rusting in a dark garage because I didn’t want anyone to see the dents.
But then, something shifted in the silence of these North Carolina woods.
I realized that if I want to help you—my Stars—live your brightest lives, I can’t do it from the shadows. I can’t just give you the “fresh paint” version of my life anymore. You deserve the foundation. You deserve the raw, unpolished, “Chapter Two” truth.
So, I did the one thing that felt impossible. I reached out, I wiped the dust off the lens, and I pressed Record.
I’m finally stepping back into the light. I’m not just a voice in your inbox anymore. I’m right here.
The ghost is gone. Lavanda is back.
What are your thoughts about I Disappeared for 7 Years. Here is the Truth. Please share in the comments below. I really would love to know.
Until next time, shine amongst the stars!
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2,555 days of hiding behind a keyboard. ⌨️ For 7 years, I was a ghost on YouTube, even while blogging every day. The mystery is over. I finally pressed record. 🎥✨ #LavandaMichelle #YouTubeReturn #ChapterTwo #Stars✨ ❤️ #LavandaMIchelle
Raising four kids while trying to keep a marriage and a “glow” alive is a full-time job. I’ve definitely used my blog and my kids as a “wall” to hide behind when I wasn’t feeling my best. Your honesty about your body breaking down is so relatable. Thank you for being the big sister I needed today.
Tanya… I see you. Raising four kids and holding everything together is no joke. I’m so glad my honesty could feel like a big sister hug today—you’re doing way more than you give yourself credit for.
We just started reading your blog together as we navigate our first year of marriage. Seeing you talk about the reality of your marriage and health is so grounding for us. We don’t want to build a “fresh paint” life; we want a solid foundation. Thanks for being a real-life example.
Leo & Mia, I love this. Building a solid foundation over a “fresh paint” life is everything. I’m so glad my journey could feel grounding for you both—wishing you a beautiful first year together.
Sis, the transparency is everything. In our community, we’re often taught to “keep it together” no matter the cost, especially as entrepreneurs. Seeing a Black woman prioritize her health over her “image” is a powerful move. I’m supporting everything you do in this new chapter.
Terrence… thank you. It’s not always easy to choose health over image, but hearing your support makes it feel possible. Grateful to have you cheering me on in this new chapter.
Truth is a form of resistance, Lavanda. By refusing to “pretend” anymore, you’re showing us how to reclaim our own narratives. I love that you’re doing this from the woods of North Carolina—peace looks good on you. We are standing with you in this light.
Nia, your words mean the world. Truth really is resistance, and I’m so grateful to have you standing in this light with me. The woods—and the peace—feel even brighter knowing we’re not alone.
Seeing 249.6 on your screen gave me the courage to step on my own scale today. No more hiding in the dark garage. Let’s get these Ferraris back on the road, sis! 🏎️✨
Keisha, Yesss! That’s exactly it—no more hiding in the garage. Let’s get our Ferraris back on the road together. 🏎️✨ So proud of you for stepping on that scale!