Hey Stars,
I want you to imagine something.
Imagine you have a secret. It’s not a “scary” secret, but it’s a heavy one. For seven years—that’s 2,555 days—I sat right here. I wrote the blog posts you read. I shared the recipes. I sent the emails. From your side of the screen, Lavanda Michelle was “fine.” I was still your Midwest girl, still glowing, still talking about the sparkles.
But there was a catch.
Every time I looked at that little red “Record” button on my camera? My heart would hit my ribs like a trapped bird. My breath would catch. I would look at the lens—that unblinking glass eye—and all I could see was what I was trying to hide.
I was a professional blogger who was terrified of being seen.
You see, a lot can happen in seven years. While I was typing away, my “Ferrari engine” was redlining. I was 249.6 pounds, struggling to catch my breath, and using my words to build a wall between me and the world. It’s one thing to tell a story with a keyboard; it’s an entirely different thing to stand in the light and let you see the struggle in my eyes.
I didn’t “disappear” from the internet… I disappeared from the frame.
I was hiding in plain sight. I was too smart to keep pretending, yet too scared to stop. I told myself I was “just a writer now,” but that was a lie I told to protect my ego. The truth? I was a Ferrari rusting in a dark garage because I didn’t want anyone to see the dents.
But then, something shifted in the silence of these North Carolina woods.
I realized that if I want to help you—my Stars—live your brightest lives, I can’t do it from the shadows. I can’t just give you the “fresh paint” version of my life anymore. You deserve the foundation. You deserve the raw, unpolished, “Chapter Two” truth.
So, I did the one thing that felt impossible. I reached out, I wiped the dust off the lens, and I pressed Record.
I’m finally stepping back into the light. I’m not just a voice in your inbox anymore. I’m right here.
The ghost is gone. Lavanda is back.
What are your thoughts about I Disappeared for 7 Years. Here is the Truth. Please share in the comments below. I really would love to know.
Until next time, shine amongst the stars!
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2,555 days of hiding behind a keyboard. ⌨️ For 7 years, I was a ghost on YouTube, even while blogging every day. The mystery is over. I finally pressed record. 🎥✨ #LavandaMichelle #YouTubeReturn #ChapterTwo #Stars✨ ❤️ #LavandaMIchelle
My fiancé and I just watched your video and then read this post together. We’re both struggling with our weight and “hiding” from the world right now. You’ve inspired us to start our own “Chapter Two” as a team. Thank you for being so brave for us.
Chris & Shay, this made me smile through tears. I love that you’re stepping into your own Chapter Two together. You’ve got this… one brave, honest step at a time. Thank you for letting me be part of your journey.
I was too smart to keep pretending, yet too scared to stop.” That is the most honest sentence I’ve read all year. I’ve been a fan for a long time, but I think I’m an even bigger fan of the woman you are today. Welcome back, Lavanda Michelle. The stars are definitely shining brighter today.
Alicia… this touched me so deeply. Thank you for seeing me for who I am now. I’m grateful for your kind words and that you’ve been here through it all. The stars feel brighter with friends like you.
Six ambulance rides is a serious wake-up call for anyone. As a father of three, I needed to hear that “alignment” is better than “hustle.” Thanks for the transparency, Lavanda.
Don, I hear you. Six ambulance rides will change anyone’s perspective. Alignment over hustle is everything—glad my transparency could resonate with you. Thank you for saying that.
The lens isn’t a ‘glass eye’ anymore, it’s a window for us to see your beautiful heart. Welcome back!
Thank you… that’s such a beautiful way to put it. I’m grateful the window lets you see the heart behind the words. It feels good to be back.
I’ve followed you since 2018 and always sensed you were holding something back. Seeing your face and those hazel eyes today feels like finally meeting the real you. Welcome back to the light, Queen.
Sharon… this made me smile so big. Thank you for noticing and for staying all these years. It feels so good to be back in the light with you.