Hey Stars,
I want you to imagine something.
Imagine you have a secret. It’s not a “scary” secret, but it’s a heavy one. For seven years—that’s 2,555 days—I sat right here. I wrote the blog posts you read. I shared the recipes. I sent the emails. From your side of the screen, Lavanda Michelle was “fine.” I was still your Midwest girl, still glowing, still talking about the sparkles.
But there was a catch.
Every time I looked at that little red “Record” button on my camera? My heart would hit my ribs like a trapped bird. My breath would catch. I would look at the lens—that unblinking glass eye—and all I could see was what I was trying to hide.
I was a professional blogger who was terrified of being seen.
You see, a lot can happen in seven years. While I was typing away, my “Ferrari engine” was redlining. I was 249.6 pounds, struggling to catch my breath, and using my words to build a wall between me and the world. It’s one thing to tell a story with a keyboard; it’s an entirely different thing to stand in the light and let you see the struggle in my eyes.
I didn’t “disappear” from the internet… I disappeared from the frame.
I was hiding in plain sight. I was too smart to keep pretending, yet too scared to stop. I told myself I was “just a writer now,” but that was a lie I told to protect my ego. The truth? I was a Ferrari rusting in a dark garage because I didn’t want anyone to see the dents.
But then, something shifted in the silence of these North Carolina woods.
I realized that if I want to help you—my Stars—live your brightest lives, I can’t do it from the shadows. I can’t just give you the “fresh paint” version of my life anymore. You deserve the foundation. You deserve the raw, unpolished, “Chapter Two” truth.
So, I did the one thing that felt impossible. I reached out, I wiped the dust off the lens, and I pressed Record.
I’m finally stepping back into the light. I’m not just a voice in your inbox anymore. I’m right here.
The ghost is gone. Lavanda is back.
What are your thoughts about I Disappeared for 7 Years. Here is the Truth. Please share in the comments below. I really would love to know.
Until next time, shine amongst the stars!
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2,555 days of hiding behind a keyboard. ⌨️ For 7 years, I was a ghost on YouTube, even while blogging every day. The mystery is over. I finally pressed record. 🎥✨ #LavandaMichelle #YouTubeReturn #ChapterTwo #Stars✨ ❤️ #LavandaMIchelle
I’m a writer too, and I know how easy it is to hide behind a keyboard. Words are a great shield, but they can be a lonely prison. I’m so glad you broke out of yours. Your “Chapter Two” is going to help so many people find their own keys.
Sterling, you get it. Words can protect, but they can also trap. I’m so glad my Chapter Two resonates, and I hope it helps you—and others—find their own keys too. Thank you for saying that.
just stumbled onto this post from a Pinterest link and wow… what an introduction. I don’t know the “2018 Lavanda,” but I really like the 2026 version. There’s something very calming about the way you write about your “dents.” I think I’ll stick around for a while.
Maya, I love this… thank you. “Dents” are part of the story, right? I’m glad you’re here, and I can’t wait to share more with you. Welcome to the corner of the internet where we’re perfectly human.
This popped up on my feed and the “2,555 days” caught my eye. I’ve been feeling like a “ghost” in my own life lately, too. Your post felt like a hand reaching out to pull me back into the light. I’m hitting that subscribe button immediately.
Danielle, I’m so glad it reached you. Feeling like a ghost is heavy… but you’re not alone, and I’m cheering you on as you step back into the light. Welcome—you’re exactly where you need to be.
Respect for admitting the “Ferrari engine” was redlining. In our community, we feel like we have to be 10x better just to be seen, and that kills our health. I’m taking your “Chapter Two” as a sign to slow down and check my own foundation. Keep leading the way, Sis.
Greg, thank you. That “Ferrari engine” line came straight from living it… I’m glad it resonates. Slowing down and checking your foundation is everything, cheering you on as you take that step. We don’t have to run at 10x to matter.
I’m only 20, but the pressure to look “perfect” online is already exhausting. Reading that you were “too smart to pretend but too scared to stop” really resonated with me. I want to build a life that feels good, not just one that looks good. Thanks for the wake-up call, Lavanda!
Jordan, I hear you. That pressure is exhausting, and I’m glad that line landed for you. Building a life that feels good beats looking perfect any day. You’re already on the right path.