Hey Stars,
I want you to imagine something.
Imagine you have a secret. It’s not a “scary” secret, but it’s a heavy one. For seven years—that’s 2,555 days—I sat right here. I wrote the blog posts you read. I shared the recipes. I sent the emails. From your side of the screen, Lavanda Michelle was “fine.” I was still your Midwest girl, still glowing, still talking about the sparkles.
But there was a catch.
Every time I looked at that little red “Record” button on my camera? My heart would hit my ribs like a trapped bird. My breath would catch. I would look at the lens—that unblinking glass eye—and all I could see was what I was trying to hide.
I was a professional blogger who was terrified of being seen.
You see, a lot can happen in seven years. While I was typing away, my “Ferrari engine” was redlining. I was 249.6 pounds, struggling to catch my breath, and using my words to build a wall between me and the world. It’s one thing to tell a story with a keyboard; it’s an entirely different thing to stand in the light and let you see the struggle in my eyes.
I didn’t “disappear” from the internet… I disappeared from the frame.
I was hiding in plain sight. I was too smart to keep pretending, yet too scared to stop. I told myself I was “just a writer now,” but that was a lie I told to protect my ego. The truth? I was a Ferrari rusting in a dark garage because I didn’t want anyone to see the dents.
But then, something shifted in the silence of these North Carolina woods.
I realized that if I want to help you—my Stars—live your brightest lives, I can’t do it from the shadows. I can’t just give you the “fresh paint” version of my life anymore. You deserve the foundation. You deserve the raw, unpolished, “Chapter Two” truth.
So, I did the one thing that felt impossible. I reached out, I wiped the dust off the lens, and I pressed Record.
I’m finally stepping back into the light. I’m not just a voice in your inbox anymore. I’m right here.
The ghost is gone. Lavanda is back.
What are your thoughts about I Disappeared for 7 Years. Here is the Truth. Please share in the comments below. I really would love to know.
Until next time, shine amongst the stars!
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2,555 days of hiding behind a keyboard. ⌨️ For 7 years, I was a ghost on YouTube, even while blogging every day. The mystery is over. I finally pressed record. 🎥✨ #LavandaMichelle #YouTubeReturn #ChapterTwo #Stars✨ ❤️ #LavandaMIchelle
Lavanda, your “Chapter Two” is a masterclass in vulnerability. I always tell my mentees that “your mess is your message,” and you are living that out beautifully. The “Stars” are lucky to have a leader who is willing to be this human. Keep pressing record.
Sister Brenda, your words truly humble me. “Your mess is your message” is exactly what I’ve been learning to live… and your encouragement makes pressing record feel even more worth it. Thank you for seeing me.
I’ve mentored so many young women who think they have to be perfect to be successful. I’m sending your post to all of them today. You are showing them that real success is being able to breathe in your own skin. That is the ultimate “glow up.”
Dr. Evelyn, thank you… that means so much. If this helps even one young woman breathe easier in her own skin, it’s more than worth sharing. Grateful you’re sending the message forward.
Lavanda, I’ve always admired your style, but this “unpolished” truth is the best look you’ve ever worn. When we feel good on the inside, the curls bounce a little higher and the skin glows a little brighter. I can’t wait to see your “Chapter Two” aesthetic. It’s going to be iconic.
Andre, you’re making me grin over here. Thank you! The “unpolished” look feels so freeing… and if the curls bounce higher, I’m all for it. Can’t wait to share Chapter Two with you.
I remember when you first started out, just a girl with a dream. Seeing you now, with all that life experience and those hazel eyes looking right at us… it’s powerful. You aren’t just a “Midwest girl” anymore; you’re a woman who knows her worth. We love to see it.
Uncle Pete… thank you. That means the world to me. It’s been quite a journey from that “girl with a dream” to now, and I’m grateful you’ve seen it all. Your support always lifts me.
It’s so good to see a familiar face coming back to the neighborhood, even if it’s a digital one. We missed your energy, but we want the real you, not the sparkle version. Take your time with the healing, we aren’t going anywhere. We’re just glad you’re finally “home.”
Mrs. Hattie… this made me smile so big. Thank you for the patience and love. I’m finally feeling “home,” and knowing you’re here makes the journey sweeter. The real me is back, sparkles optional.