Moving to an entirely new city is many things, often all at once. It’s exciting, with a world of possibilities awaiting you. It’s terrifying, as you take a step into the unknown. It’s liberating, as you can leave behind the things that held you back in your old stamping ground. And it’s confusing, as you swing between different emotions often from one minute to the next. Whatever reasons you had for leaving your previous home, you could feel grounded there – and in a new place, you just don’t have that link. This is why a lot of people fret about dating in a new city. A new beau would make the settling-in process easier, but it’s a hard time to find them. What should you be aware of before you try to find that someone?
Make friends before you seek a serious commitment
A lot of new experiences are made more enthralling by having someone with whom to share them, but finding love isn’t the kind of thing where it’s as easy as 1-2-3. Anyone who has dated for more than 15 minutes knows that the early days of a new relationship are exciting, dreamlike, and surprising – and also that they can be stressful, confusing, and draining. You’re already dealing with a lot, and it’s good to take time to find your center. This is best achieved by finding friends first. They’ll help vet any potential romantic interest, may know someone who would be just right for you – and in some circumstances, could even become that someone.
Drop the old you and embrace the new
In life, you never get the chance to relive a moment over again and do it right, knowing what not to do. But maybe the closest you get is with a change of scenery, where you can try things you never did back in the old place. If you used to rely on meeting people through work, your new place can allow you to try something like a local chat line to expand the field of potential suitors. You can also try a new hobby or join a local group, which will give you the chance to meet like-minded people with the same goals.
Make a positive out of being the newbie
A new city is like a blank slate for you – you get to change things and leave the past behind. But it’s not just you experiencing something new – you are someone new to your neighbors, co-workers, friends, and acquaintances. This is something you can lean into; when people know you’re from elsewhere, it makes you more interesting immediately. Right away, you have willing tour guides to show you the sights, people keen to be an ambassador for their home city, and it’s a great chance to meet new people. Because they’re all new people!
Find a ready-made community
Now, it’s true enough that if you had wanted to live that [insert name of old city] life, you could have stayed in the old city. But – and this is especially true if your new city is in a new country – it can be hugely comforting to have a welcoming community that you can fall right into. Big cities in particular often have thriving communities of different nationalities, faith groups, political ideologies, and other uniting factors – and you’ll be on more solid ground with them right away due to your shared experience. And after all, they’ve trodden the path you are treading – many of them didn’t stay in the old place either, so they understand your motivations for moving. This can be a great way to meet a special someone.
What are your thoughts? Please share in the comments below. I really would love to know.
Until next time, shine amongst the stars!
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